Thursday, 13 June 2013

One child policy?

So according to the journalist and author Lauren Sandler, writers should stick to one child if they don't want to limit their careers.
Actually, that's a bit disingenuous. She didn't write exactly that in The Atlantic, but the headline ('The secret to being both a successful writer and a mother: have just one kid') made out that she did and she certainly spoke in reverential terms about writers who all had just one child.
Really? I mean... really?
Sure, the fewer distractions you have, perhaps the more energy you have to throw into your work - whether that's writing books or running your country. And when you're struggling to get three young children into a car/along the road/anywhere, frankly, mothers walking serenely down the road with one perfectly behaved child can look, well, appealing.
But one child can require way more input than two. They need playdates, they need input, they need activities. Two or three children just need a blanket to make a den and they're off. We have just installed a trampoline in our garden. Our three children bounce themselves stupid for hours at a time, throwing balls to one another, taking it turns to lie flat whilst the others bounce them up and down (please don't tell the health and safety police). If we had just one, I guarantee I'd be out there a whole lot more bouncing with them, playing the games that my three make up as they go along.
My head sometimes spins from the 'To Do' list that three young children entails. And I know as they get older, and life becomes more serious for them, I will be needed more and more to help with big decisions, to listen to their worries, to steer, and guide and sometimes lay down the law (no, you are not going to a house party you read about on facebook...). But that doesn't preclude having space in my head for work, too. Nor does it reduce my ambition. Not remotely.
Actually, it does the opposite. Shopping for three children is eye-wateringly expensive. Talking of which, I'd better get on with some work right now...

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